this post is a month late, but our lil boy is one! i know every parent says this, but seriously, these lil ones grow up way too fast.

hello friends! mike and i had hoped to update our blog more often, but as new parents, once a month seems like all we can manage these days.

sammy is 4 months! we know we are totally biased but we think he is getting cuter by the day. we had been hoping to hear him laugh by now, but our serious lil boy gives us only a chuckle every now and then. right now he still loves staring at mirrors and his mobile, but his favorite thing to do is to suck on his hands. no need to pay for toys for this kid..he can entertain himself for hours with his hands. sammy also has two lil teeth coming in. we were hoping to not deal with teething till much later, but alas it has started. he is not eating and sleeping well...making for two tired parents, but we know that this too shall pass..so we are just hanging on. isn't it amazing how big he is getting? i can't believe it!

since mike has been so busy i will update for him. he is doing great! of course balancing a new ministry position and family life is always a challenge, but he is doing both well. community groups at S&L have started, and so far they are going really well. a leadership team is forming and there is a great momentum for the new school year. mike and i are both excited for the what lies ahead and growing more and more in love with the group.

for me...sigh..motherhood is hard. mike and i decided early on that i would stay home with sammy for at least the first 6 months (boy, do we miss canada and the year long maternity leave). most days i enjoy my time with sammy, especially since he is growing up so fast, but there are days when i want to run out of the house screaming. i always thought i was a pretty sane, laid-back, patient person...but after having a baby, i'm coming to learn how incredibly sinful and truly crazy i am! hahaha...moms out there, you hear me? just when you think you have a handle on things...bam! a growth spurt..or teeth..or sickness..or who knows what... i'm learning a lot about myself and trying to find moments to breath and journal, and keep sane. i joined two wonderful women's groups - one nursing mothers group through CBS with my lovely neighbor, and another at KCPC/CCPC - Sis 2 Sis. both of them have been such a blessing (and provide childcare..SCORE!) :)

here are some recent pictures of us (well, mostly sammy).

here are some favorite pictures from the past month or so.

not the best picture, but the only one we have of our 4th wedding anniversary. being new parents, a romantic getaway was the last thing on our minds. we probably would have preferred to sleep, but thanks to having my family around, we were able to enjoy a quiet meal at sushi yoshi in vienna.

i guess sammy wasn't enjoying his outfit as much as i was. this was taken at our dear friends brian & angela's wedding.

c/o of our dear friend and talented photographer angela wu. we were on a lunch date at the dc food trucks. sammy absolutely loves being outside.

c/o another dear friend and gifted photographer justin kim. we were reuniting with our friend abe who was visiting from vancouver at vapiano's in reston town center.

our lil man at his 100th day celebration. doesn't he just melt your heart?

i love this picture because he is in the middle of cooing. our lil sweet boy...

hello friends! as you can imagine, life has been a bit crazy for us these days. everyone told us having kids is hard, but boy, nothing quite prepares you for it. i feel like i've been living in a haze for the last two months -- a constant cycle of feedings, changing diapers, and attempting to put a fussy baby to sleep. now that sammy is into this 3rd month, he is starting to develop a routine, and i am able to get some rest, and even brush my teeth from time to time. :) though i am in constant mourning of my hair (literally clumps of hair are falling out at a time), my pre-baby figure, and lack of sleep, i am starting to enjoy being a mom to our adorable lil baby boy. it is strange how you can't wait till he is older and can sleep through the night, but at the same time, wish he wouldn't grow up too fast so you can cuddle with him a bit longer before he is running around everywhere and causing all sorts of havoc around the house.

as a first time mom i depended A LOT on the wisdom of other mothers (and google). i received a lot of great advice and i thought i would pass them along to all the new moms out there.

here is a list of some things i couldn't have lived without.


california baby products - these products were recommended to me by other moms, and i have to agree with them, they are great. i love the way they smell and sammy hasn't had any negative reactions to them. they are pricer than other products so i don't know how long we will be using them, but during the newborn stage we wanted to be extra careful of what we put on his skin.

aden + anais swaddle blankets - i think these blankets are on everyone's list. they are lightweight, soft and big. we use them to swaddle sammy, as a travel blanket, car seat cover, nursing cover, etc. they are a bit expensive but worth it. we've washed ours so many times and they still look brand new.

baby aquaphor - this stuff is amazing! it's great for diaper rashes, and under chubby skin folds that can get raw if you are not careful about washing them.

motherlove nipple cream - umm...breastfeeding is HARD. i had the hardest time trying to breastfeed, and still have not quite mastered it. nonetheless, this cream is a breastfeeding mom's best friend. it's all natural and really helps soothe sore, cracked and blistered nipples.

medala breast pump - if you want to breastfeed, (and there is nothing wrong with formula feeding btw), invest in a good breast pump. my lovely friends in vancouver purchased this for me and it has been a life saver. i used it in the beginning to increase my milk supply, and now i use it so mike can bottle feed sammy, while i get some much needed time to myself.

anna & eve swaddle strap - sammy was born in the summer. as he got bigger he would get hot in a swaddle blanket. we love this swaddle strap because he can just sleep in a onsie during the uber hot virginia summer nights. it also makes those late night diaper changes so much easier.

boba sleep wrap - hands down my favorite. i can not tell you how much i (and sammy) love this thing. it is a bit tricky to get on, but so worth it. before sammy got into a bit of a sleep rhythm, this was the only way for me to put him to sleep without having to drive around the neighborhood for two hours (and trust me i did this). it's comfortable, and let's you do a few chores around the house while carrying the baby...but more importantly sammy loves it, and almost immediately calms down when i put him in it.

mam pacifiers - i know there are a lot of moms that do not use pacifiers for various reasons, however we love them. it helps sammy calm down when he is in one of his moods (which he is in a lot). these were gifted to us so we haven't tried other brands. i like these because they are small and lightweight.

sound machine - sound travels in our house and a sound machine has enabled us to have guests over and do chores around the house without fear of waking up our sleeping baby. newborns also love white noise so it's a win win. (we bought this particular one because it was recommended by a friend and had great reviews on amazon. we do love it, but there are cheaper ones out there).

lansinoh nursing pads - breastfeeding = leaky boobs = need for nursing pads. enough said.

nosefrida snotsucker - despite having daddy's nose, sammy is congested a lot. this lil device is awesome. don't worry you don't get snot in your mouth.

my brestfriend nursing pillow - breastfeeding can be hard on your arms, back and neck. this pillow really helps support the baby, keeping both you and the baby comfortable.

crane humidifier - babies get congested so a humidifier is a must. crane makes the cutest ones.

boon lawn drying rack - having a baby means washing a lot of bottles, pumping parts, and pacifiers. we love this rack because it dries all our baby things, and as an added bonus is super cute. you can throw the whole thing in the dishwasher too.

lastly, here are some books we found helpful. in particular, we really like the baby whisperer's EASY method. we have been trying to follow that schedule for awhile now and really enjoy it (sample EASY schedules).

wow. how much has changed in one year.

this time last year we were going through one of the most difficult seasons of our lives.

• i had just made a decision to move on from inter-varsity after seven very meaningful years on staff
• we had begun a discernment process about what we were going to do next as a family
• we got pregnant for the first time and then tragically lost the baby in a miscarriage
• while on my last ivcf retreat, one of my students, felix odera would die in a tragic water accident

now that mike has updated you on how we are doing, i would like to let you know that...we are having a baby boy! we couldn't be more thrilled. after our miscarriage i couldn't help worrying everyday of the first trimester, but now i am at 21 weeks and everything seems to be going well.

the first trimester was rough. i was cranky (to put it lightly), nauseous, and exhausted every moment of everyday...not fun. can we all say, poor mike? i didn't feel like taking any pictures during this time, but mike insisted we document this stage. i can't believe i am posting these...but here goes..

this is how i ate most of my meals while i was at my parents' house -  in the basement, with my ugly blue robe that mike has come to hate, behind locked doors with ear plugs in my nose. i couldn't stand the smell of anything cooking, especially korean food, which happens to be my favorite. let me tell you, eating with your nose plugged is very difficult, even if it is just white rice and water. it's very hard to breathe and chew at the same time.

I hang my head in shame. Mike insisted in taking a picture of my outfit. Yes, I know, what was I thinking. I did go out in public dressed like this, but when you are throwing up, and feeling fat, who cares what you wear out, right?

Thank God I'm past that stage. Second trimester has been much better. For those of you who are wondering how the belly bump is progressing, here you go. I only wear the blue robe when I'm getting ready for bed, and I am actually wearing clothing and not sweats with sneakers.

Sporting jcrew's heart me sweater that may just have reached its maximum stretching capacity.

question for our readers, any thoughts on a name for our little boy? so far mike has come up with casper, cox cable, pickles, skelator, mario, luigi..and his current favorite, garfield...sigh...help me please.

craziest nine months continued...

we didn't mention this in any of our sabbatical updates because it was too early, but the truth is, just before we left vancouver for virginia, we found out that min was pregnant! talk about an unexpected surprise! though we were thrilled, this would force us to re-evaluate our sabbatical. should we stay in vancouver? what are we going to do about pre-natal appointments in the states without health insurance? if both of us don't have jobs, what are we going to do about income? YIKES!

we decided to stay the course, however. although we weren't able to do a majority of the things we wanted to because of min's morning sickness and discomfort, we were still able to have a lot of fun. again, i won't post the pictures (because min promises to do so), but let's just say there were definitely a lot of moments of levity in an otherwise pretty miserable three months of the first trimester (ie. ear plugs in the nostrils to block out smells, fashion dyslexia and a morbid fascination with a growing gut).

about three weeks into the sabbatical, we paused to make some decisions. the original plan was to stay in virginia for a month, go on a cruise with the parents, then to california for a month and then decide where we wanted to start our next chapter. the pregnancy changed all of that. we did some more marriage counseling which was actually really helpful for us. we identified the inability in our marriage to honestly say what we needed or wanted. i think both of us being first borns and accommodators, we didn't really know how to just say "help" or "i need you to ..." or "i would like...". so with the pregnancy, min was able to say, "i think i would like to be near my family for this first pregnancy and birth." - that was all it took. she was worried that we were overwhelmingly making this decision based on her needs, but i was actually pretty excited at the prospect of living and doing ministry in the east coast. and if pastoral ministry was where i was headed, min having a stable support network around her was only going to help. so that was that.

we changed our plans and decided to go on the cruise with both our parents as originally planned, then go to vancouver to pack up our stuff and tie up loose ends, then go to california solely to spend time with my folks and a few friends in LA, no scouting out ministry opportunities or schools.

the cruise, you can read about. vancouver was great. it was a blessing to be able to see many of our friends and celebrate with our communities there. one highlight was having one last breakfast with our accountability groups.

our church, living hope fellowship, prayed for us on sunday and then took us out for a big celebration at the local pizza joint. we felt loved and blessed and knew that we were not so much leaving as being sent. thanks to all our living hope friends!!


lastly, we took major steps towards selling my condo. i can't believe i first moved in there in 2005. it's been great, 405! we've been through multiple subletters, floods, being locked out at midnight, having my car towed from the front and listening to the smoke detector go off every time i cooked. good, good times. it's been a tremendous blessing and i will miss the last place i lived as a bachelor and the first place we in together as a married couple.


after leaving vancouver we headed to temecula, california. california was pretty chill. we mostly spent time with my folks and my aunt and uncle. christmas and new year's were low key affairs, but again, it's been a busy enough year.


thanks to our inter-varsity friends, awaiting us in temecula was another awesome gift certificate, this time to one of the local wineries. we had a fantastic lunch there and picked up some nice bottles of wine to bring back with us.


now we're back in virginia. the pod has been unpacked (thanks to the generosity of min's folks who allowed us to store our junk in their dining room!), green card process is underway, the job hunt is on and min has a regular ob/gyn she can go to for her prenatal appointments. we believe that by march a lot of our big question marks regarding employment and housing will be answered. we can only pray that is the case, however.

a few weeks ago min was reminded by a friend that around this time had the first pregnancy gone through we would have given birth to a new baby. that made us really, really sad. at the same time, had the first pregnancy gone through, our story would be very different at this point. better? worse? who knows. we can't decide those things. all we know is that along the way we have done the best we can to honor and love each other, allow others to speak into our lives and put the full force of our weight onto an invisible God that we believe in and trust with all that we are.

we look forward to this next stage of our journey that will hopefully involve a new baby, a new home, a new place to do ministry and a new community to journey with. we have no idea how long this next stage will last, but i know with every fibre of my being that the last nine months have been some of the most important in my life.