wow. how much has changed in one year.

this time last year we were going through one of the most difficult seasons of our lives.

  • i had just made a decision to move on from inter-varsity after seven very meaningful years on staff
  • we had begun a discernment process about what we were going to do next as a family
  • we got pregnant for the first time and then tragically lost the baby in a miscarriage
  • while on my last ivcf retreat, one of my students, felix odera would die in a tragic water accident
we decided to go on a three-month sabbatical together and figure out what we were going to do. right before we left, however, we got pregnant again! but now we were in the states with no job, no insurance and no home.

though we didn't know how it was all going to work out, we decided that we wanted to be close to family for the birth of our first child. being near min's family in virginia made the most sense and so we dove in and with a giant leap of faith began our crazy adventure.

we flew around the country - to vancouver to pack up our stuff and say our goodbyes, to california to spend time with my parents, back to virginia, down to florida to go on a long-ago planned cruise with both parents, then back to virginia, then to austin, tx for a girls' trip (i was not invited), then back to virginia, then to new york to hang out with our good friends joe and nancy. and yes, back to virginia.

but in the midst of all that, i applied for and received permanent residency in the united states...

... we sold my condo in burnaby, and after a very arduous proces, found and bought a townhouse in fairfax, va...

... we bought two vehicles, opened many bank accounts, and through a miraculous provision from God, was invited to apply for and got the position of pastor with salt & light ministry at the korean central presbyterian church located in centreville, va.

then to top everything off, after just one month of working at my new job, the most incredible gift of all entered our lives. on may 26, 2012, two weeks earlier than his due date, baby Samuel Joonsoo Han was born. it is hard to put into words what a miraculous and amazing experience it is being a father and having your family grow in this way. though the nine months leading to his birth were some of the hardest we've ever had to endure, and though the work of being a parent to a new born is no joke, he is an absolute delight and his sheer presence fills the room with peace and grace. we should have named him shalom.

his name, Samuel, however means "God heard" and given the year we had, we felt like this was an appropriate name. most of the time our question was "why?" but God heard our question and all of our cries. Joonsoo is a Korean name selected by min's mom which means something like "attractive" or "beautiful" - it's the word attributed to Moses in Hebrews 11:23. we think he's pretty cute.

one year ago our lives were struck by incredible loss and we entered a season of death and grieving. one year later, our life is full and growing. the newness and goodness of the season we are in doesn't negate the loss that was suffered one bit. our first baby and felix are still gone. our friends and family are still hundreds and hundreds of miles away. and yet resurrection is taking place. we can't have the life we had but we must be present in the life that is taking place now.

practice resurrection.

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